Nora Stanulonis Just Won’t Go Away

I realize this has been done-to-fucking-death, but the incoming search terms on my blog stats are always entertaining.  But something interesting has come to light.  Since the post about my damaging junior high encounter with Nora Stanulonis, I’ve gotten at least one hit each day for the search term Nora Stanulonis.  It’s come from Technorati, Google, and the wordpress search.

Using my superhuman powers of deduction, I have identified two possible explanations for this turn of events.

1.) Nora Stanulonis scours the interwebs for mentions of herself, every day.  This would clearly indicate the presence of intense narcissism, self-involvement, and delusions of internet importance.  It would further stand to reason that Nora Stanulonis read the lurid expose of her heartless dashing of my junior high crush, and continues to lurk among us.  Probability: 40%

2.) Far more probable, however, is that hordes of jilted Nora Stanulonis admirers are awash in the expanse of the internet, drowning in their painful memories of her bright blonde cruelty, seeking purchase in a womb of support in which they could lay down their suffering.  Fear not, my fellow crushed Nora Stanulonis suitors, we’ll carve out a corner of this broadband world to share stories of her sinister denials and cold, dark heart.  We’ll have google map overlays of incident locations, photo essays of emotional bruisings, and petitions to stop this monster in her tracks.  It will be a social network for Recovering Nora Stanulonis Likers (Lovers would be the wrong term when referring to a 7th grader.  The closest thing I ever came to loving back then was…err, nevermind).  Yes, the more I think about it, the more I’m certain.  Probability: 98%

*As you may recall, at the time of my ill-fated note, Nora Stanulonis was dating someone who would later become a very good friend of mine.  Upon being reminded of Nora Stanulonis, he confessed to breaking up with her at the end of the school year by claiming he had to go on safari in Africa with his uncle.  Brilliant.