The Literary Apothecary Contest

Like words? Think you can use them? Prove it. I’ll provide three words, you make the best sentence possible. You have to use all three. You can submit multiple entries but only through multiple comments. You can change tense, but not part of speech. If it’s a verb, it’s a verb. For example, if the word is suffer, you can use suffered, but not suffering. I’ll provide common definitions, but don’t be afraid to vary from the original meaning as needed. Quality wins over length. One sentence. The rest is up to you. Make it hot.

I’ll judge the best sentence. Why me? Because it’s my contest.

On with the show. Today’s words are:

  • malleable – adj. figurative: easily influenced, pliable. OR able to be hammered or pressed permanently out of shape without breaking or cracking
  • waylay – verb. stop or interrupt someone and detain them in conversation or trouble them in some other way
  • funicular – noun. railroad on a mountainside operating by cable with ascending and descending cars counterbalanced

Can you make it work? I think so. Depending on the number of entries, I may leave it open one or two days, possibly longer.

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30 responses to “The Literary Apothecary Contest

  1. With my malleable step father in tow, we apprehended the funicular just in time to waylay the jabbering hermaphrodite trying to score some blow.

    dude, did you hear that linguists are trying to convince us that “yo” is a word — in the sense that yo could be a substitute for she or he? How the nuts does THAT make sense?

  2. Smack – Yes, I did hear that and I was offended to no end. Yo is not a pronoun.

    Incog – While I appreciate your challenging tone, I’m not scared, just bored. I’ve stated my position, you’ve stated yours; I see no reason to beat the dead horse.

  3. I’d rather not go through life in the same state of agitation as you – I’d die of a heart attack or stroke in no time. Apathy is knowing the situation and doing nothing. In this case, you and I disagree about what the situation is.

    I’m putting my efforts into things that can be improved. You’re deeply entrenched in your views, which you have every right to be, but I’m not going to change your mind on anything. Please clarify for me what you expect to gain from further discussion.

    There have been various predictions of end-days and doomsdays and catastrophe for longer than I’ll ever know. If I buy into this one, yours, I’m guaranteeing myself a life of paranoia, fear, violence, and conflict. Why?

    I know you’ll answer that by saying “because it’s coming”, but I disagree. It doesn’t have to. I wonder if you look forward to chaos and violence as a confirmation of your views.

    Also, I’ll pick and choose my spots to comment on your blog. I know I’m the minority there, and will get mocked, reviled, and derided by 95% of the commenters just for expressing a different opinion. And sometimes it’s not a fight worth picking.

    Since you mentioned it, college basketball is the best sport on earth. The desire, the heartbreak, the parity…this is my holy month.

    And your sentence was well constructed, but I wasn’t surprised by your choice of topic. I have a feeling you’ll be able to weave your position into any three words I can come up with.

  4. The malleable Mt. Brooks, missed the funicular, and was waylaid in secretly watching Rock Of Love vs. Moment of truth.

  5. Hmm, three entries, 48 hours. Any more?

    The funicular crept up the mountain at a sloth like pace, the malleable steel cable moaning beneath the car; an unwanted reminder of each lurch closer to the crowd of native merchants, all eager to waylay me on the trek to the temple.

  6. Wow Mt. Brooks you are a really good writer. I feel like Im there.

  7. At least we’re going up.

  8. Well, that does it. You are definitely NOT the winner of this contest.

  9. I laugh!

  10. And that’s where it ends. Find somewhere else to troll. You’ve stopped all manner of discussion and resorted to petty personal attacks against me. Now you’re going after a friend of mine?

    I’m against censorship in most cases, but I don’t need to waste another moment on you or your bitter, pathetic bullshit. Blocked.

  11. Now that the ugliness has subsided, I declare smack to be the winner. It’s really hard to beat cokehead hermaphrodites who jabber. Just try. I dare you.

  12. I’m glad i didn’t check back to see how ugly it got. But I am happy to find out that I am a winner in more ways than I ever thought I could be :-). Granted I was the only contributer who didn’t verbally attack you.

  13. See what happens when you feed the trolls!

    I felt embarrassed for you there for a while. It was a bit like watching someone trying to deal with a dog that was humping their leg.

  14. Yeah, you were right. This dog wasn’t listening. At all.

    He keeps submitting comments in response to pretty much everything. So that is my penance for allowing it to go on for so long.

  15. Incontinence man just tried to leave a comment on my blog in response to my comment here.

    My, my, he is a rabid little mutt isn’t he.

    His comments were so over the top that I actually laughed out loud and long. It was hilarious.

    I kind of can understand why you played with him for a while.

  16. I’d neuter him straight away, if I were you. Once he starts barking, he doesn’t know how to stop.

  17. He sent me another totally bizarre comment to try and bait me into a stoush but I don’t feed trolls. Even the desperately needy ones.

    I get a guilty pleasure from depriving them of the oxygen of conflict that they crave, so they just wither and fade away.

  18. I’d guess your comment was about as equally flattering as the ones I’m getting.

    He said you were a naked jew jacked up on meth. I had to laugh at that.

  19. Yeah me too. It even makes me laugh when I see it written here again.

    I can’t even get offended at it because it is just such funny imagery.

  20. I’m going to use that imagery as spank material, you can count on that.

  21. Would that be housed in the SmackSpankBank? SpankSmackVault? SpankSmack? SmackSpank?

    I think I just invented a new club drug.

  22. Aw, I waited far too long… I can’t see any of his responses now.

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