From the archives

This came from my previous blog (the one I didn’t write in very often and nobody ever read):
I took my car for a state inspection. They promised it would be in the garage within 15 minutes. They lied. I stewed. The car finally goes in and I keep reading. Billy Service Advisor comes out to ask for the wheel lock key. Fuck me running. I don’t have it–VW neglected to include it when selling the vehicle. I’ve known this for about 4k miles, and yes, I should have had it taken care of well before now but I’m lazy about things…even those things that could strand me on the side of the road with a flat tire right when some psychotic killer with a hook breaks out of a nearby mental hospital for the criminally insane. The inspection was nixed and I went outside while they pulled the car out of the garage. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Finally the door opens and the car is produced. The tech gets out and starts to walk away. I noticed the 8 x 10 red plastic sign hanging from my ignition that says “Loose Lug Nuts”. Here’s the exchange:
Me: (pointing at the red sign) Is this yours?
Tech: It’s your car.
Me: No, the Loose Lug Nuts sign.
Tech: What?
Me: This giant red thing that says Loose Lug Nuts.
Tech: That’s not yours, we need that back.
Me: I know it’s not mine. I don’t want it. Are they loose?
Tech: Are what loose?
Me: The lug nuts.
Pause. Blank stare.
Tech: Nah.

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One response to “From the archives

  1. I don’t remember that one. I hope the lugs weren’t loose tho. That’s dangerous.

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