Dead white girl alert!

As you’re no doubt aware, a blonde haired cheerleader from Florida died while having surgery on her breasts.  The family is stressing that it wasn’t just implants, that she had a birth defect which was mentally distressing.  Doesn’t matter to me, there’s a dead white girl!  Why does the media go so utterly apeshit every time something like this happens?

I feel badly for her family, as I’m sure the loss is devastating, but why does her death get such a wave of attention while others go completely unnoticed?  Did you know that 20 Chicago teenagers have been killed since September, most by gunfire?  I bet you didn’t.  But I’m sure you heard about the cheerleader’s inverted nipple.  That’s real news.

Sorry to sound callous, but she had elective surgery.   Surgery is always risky.  She had to sign a pile of waivers acknowledging the risks of going through with the procedure, including the risk of death.  And now that the worst has happened, the family and their lawyer will no doubt say the pile of signed waivers is irrelevant because they didn’t think she would actually die.  Cue the lawsuit.  Insurance company pays out.  Doctor’s premiums go up.  Our insurance rates go up.  Lawyer buys a second house.  Family pushes for a piece of legislation in the girl’s name (and buys a house in the Keys).


5 responses to “Dead white girl alert!

  1. See, this is one reason why I haven’t yet gotten a boob job. The other reason is that my boobs are AMAZING.

  2. Yes, but a friend of mine has warned me that the internet is overrun by liars and frauds. So I’m on to you, “Katie”. “Katie”, balding, wearing your sweatpants, living in your mother’s basement in the midwest, playing World of Warcraft for days on end. Keep up the lies.

  3. HEY! I resemble that remark!

  4. Isn’t it a hundred degrees down there? Put some shorts on.

  5. Where do I send flowers or a donation? Is Howard Stern helping the family in anyway? I will start a petition

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