I’m the new blue blood. I’m the Great White Hope.

Filed under “how did someone not think of this sooner”?  I got this email from the NYC Thrillist today:

“An NYC man’s delivery options are nearly unlimited, from food, to pot, to governorship-ending poon. Add bitter retribution to that list, with Punch in the Face.

A performance piece turned alarming side-project, Punch comes from a squad of urban-agitator bike messengers who believe in two inviolable truths: people want to punch people in the face; people are cowards. Like when begging a DJ for Summer Jam tickets, you must first plead your case, by submitting a plea on Punch’s web site for why the prospective punchee deserves violence, e.g., “he’s always taking credit for my work” or “she never breast-fed me”. If Punch finds your job worthy, challenging, and up to their peculiar sense of fair play, they’ll set up a brief phone consultation (gleaning target’s name/place of business/daily routine, etc), then stalk your quarry, place them in a headlock, and deliver exactly one shot to the face (if you want two punches delivered, you clearly have anger issues).

Given their project’s obvious legal issues, Punch takes several precautions, e.g., they never meet clients in person, and, shockingly, they don’t accept payment — so no matter how poorly you tip your Pad Thai deliveryman, he can still afford to gift you with the sweet nosebleed of revenge.

Punch is extremely picky. See if your cause merits a beatdown at PunchInTheFaceFrom.us”

I’m making a list right now. (Is it an April Fool’s?  I don’t know)

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3 responses to “I’m the new blue blood. I’m the Great White Hope.

  1. On a certain level I love the idea and on another level I fear it. After all it’s me that’s probably going to get punched.

    I wonder how they know if the reason for the punch is real or not?

    We’ve all heard of prank phone calls perhaps now we have prank punches!

  2. There is justice in this world, and it’s pedaling your way.

    And I think the punishment for setting up an unjustified punch in the face would be…a punch in the face. One in, one out. Karma.

    That does make me wonder if there’s an appeal process.

  3. >That does make me wonder if there’s an appeal process.

    If there is, then it’s only the poor who will get punched.

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