My food oddities

I grew up as a notoriously picky eater.  At one point I decided I didn’t like pizza.  Seriously.  What kind of (non-communist) kid doesn’t like pizza?

I’ve grown out of most of my food fickleness, but I’ve developed some other odd habits.

1. I have an unnatural fear of spoiled dairy.  Ever since a family member assured me that the milk was good, and large clumps of milk-phlegm plopped into my glass, I’ve believed that every dairy product has gone irrevocably bad just moments before I picked it up.  I do a lot of smelling.

2. I assign personalities to fruit.  Wait, before you call the folks at county health, let me explain.  What I mean to say is this: I won’t put down a bruised apple in favor of a better one.  Once I pick it up, whether at the store, or in the basket at work, it’s mine.    Two reasons for this.  First, I think that I’m the most compassionate eater on earth (though I eat meat, go figure), and nobody else will eat this less-than-perfect fruit.  It will be thrown in the trash and the resources which went into planting, growing, picking, and transporting the apple will be a complete waste.  Second, I think the apple will feel rejected.  And having felt the sting of rejection many times in my life, I have a hard time saying no to an innocent piece of fruit.  Yeah, that’s the crazy part.  Call county health.

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9 responses to “My food oddities

  1. When I was a little kid (about 4) I didn’t want to eat lamb because I thought it was cruel to kill them.

    Once when I was refusing the lamb on my plate, I remember my Grandmother saying to me, “it was a naughty little lamb who ran away from his mummy and got hit by a car”. “So eat up as we wouldn’t want to waste it, would we?”

  2. 1. I hated pizza when I was little. Now it’s my favorite food. Seriously, if I was single all a guy would have to do to impress me would be bring over a large pizza and I’m all his.

    2. I totally get where you’re coming from with compassion. When I was little, I used to steal stuffed animals from my cousin because I thought she didn’t love them enough. Along those same lines, if I hadn’t worn a shirt in awhile, I’d wear it because I felt bad for it. At least you’re getting something out of your compassion. I’m just a thief and a hoarder.

  3. Mmmmm, pizza. I will never be a gourmand because my favorite foods have consistently been pizza and tacos. I could never reject either of them.

    Ha! I’ve done the shirt thing. And yes, you are getting weirder in my mind.

  4. Razz, your grandmother was good not to waste food, but I don’t follow how the logic – whether the lamb was naughty or not, you still wouldn’t want to waste it. I suppose that was like my mother telling me I didn’t throw up because of the stomach bug going around, but because I hadn’t cleaned under my fingernails very well and the dirt made me sick.

    And my parents wondered why I washed my hands like a surgeon with OCD before every meal.

  5. “Mmmmm, pizza. I will never be a gourmand because my favorite foods have consistently been pizza and tacos. I could never reject either of them.”

    I think that you’ll change your tune after you have your first heart by-pass operation.

    “your grandmother was good not to waste food, but I don’t follow how the logic ”

    Niether do I, but at about four years old my reasoning skills weren’t very well developed.

    I’ve been trying to make up for it ever since ;-)

  6. “I think that you’ll change your tune after you have your first heart by-pass operation.”

    No sir, don’t mistake simplicity for gluttony or sloth.

    I’m a bit of a wanker about my food – I avoid processed foods as much as possible; eat local, organic produce and meats; enjoy my pizza once a week from a hippie place that uses the best ingredients; and my beloved chicken tacos are made with local produce on a fresh pressed flour tortilla. I may enjoy those treats immensely, but I take great care in selecting what goes into my body.

  7. I love this fruit confession.
    That sick slurpy slop of spoiled milk is pure disgust.

  8. breathlessmini

    I really thought I was the only one who felt bad for food. I think my bad habit of not throwing said food out has recently caught up with my new indecisiveness & my inability to order just one thing. thus, I now order too much & have to eat it all because otherwise it will be sad. I’ll share that padded room with you if you want.

  9. Hey Brooks!

    That Galere comment is Spam. I’ve seen the same comment with the same URL on other blogs but under another name.

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