The wife in a rowboat flies back into town tomorrow night. Which means tonight is my last chance to be the limp brained caveman she assumes I turn into the moment she’s out of the zip code. So what are my options? Here are my potential activities to fill the night:
- Sit around in my underwear while searching the interwebs for topless photos of Dame Judi Dench.
- Go against my wife’s wishes by deliberately microwaving leftovers…WITHOUT covering the plate!
- Finally start watching the British miniseries that is supposedly so good (State of Play).
- Email Satan and convince him to take this puppy back to whence it came.
- Fire up photoshop and edit those photos I took two weeks ago. The ones that I think will come out really good.
- Take these dogs out for a run in an attempt to exhaust them.
- Take my lazy ass for a run in an attempt to get back into fighting shape (not that I’ve ever fought).
- Finish that bottle of whiskey and curse myself for thinking I could write a list and achieve something on it.
- Hit craiglist to see how much it would cost for someone to do my laundry, dishes and vacuuming.
- Curse out the fat neighborhood kid for glaring at me when I drive by.
- Delete any traces of Dame Judi Dench photos from the hard drive.
It’s going to be a busy night.