The new euphemism

As I sat for my morning shit (I’m a regular guy), I realized just how badly we need some new euphemisms for the bowel movement. This isn’t civilized dinner conversation, which is precisely why I bring it up now, pre-lunch. Please add to the list as you see fit.

  • Expelling the rebel forces.
  • Taking out the recycling.
  • Purging the dissidents.
  • Settling an account.
  • Taking a bathroom sabbatical.
  • Sending out the wash.
  • Plying the trade.
  • Clearing the cache.
  • Launching the armada.

6 responses to “The new euphemism

  1. Taking the Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl.

    Dropping the kids off at the pool.

  2. I like the Browns. Excellent.

    I also like “Going to see a man about a horse.” I have no idea why people say it, but it’s obviously true.

  3. Doesn’t “going to see a man about a horse” mean “it’s none of your business?” My grampa used to say that when he went out.
    Can’t think of anything witty to say about poop. We’re so Canadian we say “going to the washroom” if we must reference pooping otherwise we specify that we “have to go pee”.

  4. pushing tin

    wrangling the tubular pony

    crap, I need more sleep.

  5. a variant of the abovementioned ‘taking to the kids to the pool’ has always been a personal favorite of mine these past few years.

  6. I refuse to refer to poop as recycling. You do what you want with it, but I am not recycling it!

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