Summertime and the living is far from easy.

July may kill me. Just maybe. I apologize for the recent dearth of posts – things have gotten hectic and the blog shockingly slipped a few notches down the priority list. Let’s see if we can catch up on the last week.

Friday – Left work early with a nasty migraine. Rolled around in bed from 4 to midnight, then finally slept it off for the next ten hours. Wasted day.

Saturday – Bought a house. Yep, that’s right, negotiated and signed a deal to buy a very nice house in Raleigh. More space, a nice fenced yard for the dogs, and a very shady lot. Wife-in-a-Rowboat and I are very excited. This does mean we will have to move in six weeks.

Later that day, we see Jersey, our older dog, squatting to pee. And staying squatted. For two minutes. Great. She does this four or five more times in the following half hour. So the dog has a urinary tract infection and we throw her in the car for a ride to the emergency vet. These things never happen while a regular vet is open, but we need to get her started on some antibiotics because she is clearly in some pain. The reason for the UTI? No, not the dog hookers she visits at the park. The vet said she has a “juvenile vulva”, which doesn’t open wide enough when she squats, trapping urine and promoting infection. The remedy? Plastic surgery. Yes, my dog needs plastic surgery on her vaheena. Finally she’ll be able to wear that skimpy thong to the beach.

Spent three hours and two hundred dollars at the e-vet. Got home after midnight. Lovely.

Sunday – Buying a new house means selling an old house. And that means literally and proverbially cleaning out the closets. So much to do.

Monday to Wednesday – Working and working on the house. Packing boxes. Moving boxes to storage. Planting “living” flowers in the flower boxes.

This morning – The word “puppy” is derived from “pupp”, which is Latin for “ruining your life”.  This is what I thought when the smell of shit woke me from a sound sleep at 4am.  Not sure what the puppy got into, but her puddle of dia on the bedroom floor was sure fun to clean up in the dark.

The rest of this month will be a sprint and a marathon. Two business trips of three days each. Two out of state weddings. Fixing all the little things in my house that I’ve been putting off until it was time to sell the house. I’m really starting to hate the summer.

You’ll have to excuse me if I continue to post less frequently than usual.


13 responses to “Summertime and the living is far from easy.

  1. Congrats on the new house! Good luck with everything.

  2. I was wondering where you got to. Thought you might’ve got a life.

    Well done on finding a new house. My wife and I are still looking. What a drag.

    Plastic surgery for your dog!

    What’s next, breast implants?

  3. Yep, six of them.

  4. I will work to get over it, but I really will need to see before and after shots of your dog’s vagina.

  5. The dog is only one and a half years old, which is like ten in human years, so you just landed on a government list. Congrats.

  6. breathlessmini

    Jersey with new boobs… What a novel idea. One of us should get into the canine surgical enhancement field. I’m sure there are many of people with far too much money who need their pups to look a little more like themselves.

  7. I think that surgical training might be a bit arduous.

    I think that with only a little training as a beautician one could inject doggy lips with collagen.

    Piecing might be another easy to get into business opportunity.

    Leashes through nose rings as dog training aids and beauty accessories.

    There’s bound to be a market for it.

  8. breathlessmini

    Razz, you’re really onto something there. Pierced puppy ears. Why hasn’t this been done already?

  9. Laugh all you want about breast implants for pets; when I was managing an animal hospital, we provided the option of “neuticles” for dogs about to be castrated. These are in effect testicular implants which come in various sizes. You’d never know your dog was not a he-dog anymore. Only he-pet owners put their poor dogs through the pain and humiliation.

  10. This discussion is the exact reason I started blogging in the first place. Now there is nowhere to go but down.

  11. just not on your dog

  12. Nice mouth. I’m glad you use it to make a living.

  13. breathlessmini

    Nathalie, that is so absurd & sad. How many people did this to their poor little pups’ boys?

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