Exciting weekend adventures

Adventures?  Not so much.  What does it mean when the preparation for a task is physically exhausting?

My weekend project is to tile the laundry room and first floor bathroom.  A combined 150 sq ft.  The laundry room is square, thank god, so the actual tiling won’t take long at all.  The bathroom has a few fun turns around the toilet flange, corner shower and vanity.  I’m only working with one size tile though, so the cuts are far simpler than the last tile job I did (four different tile sizes).

Today was spent preparing.  Moving everything out of the two rooms, including the washer, dryer, toilet, and anything else not built into the walls or floors.  Then I tore off all the baseboard moldings…and found some seriously deteriorated sheetrock.  Hmmm, high moldings are going back up after the tile is in.  The next step was to remove the peel-n-stick tiles (courtesy of the previous owner).  Under the tiles, I found more tiles.  Brilliant.  With kneepads and my trusty Wonder Bar, I dutifully scraped off every last fucking tile.  And then thew them all out, swept up the crap, made another garbage run, and collapsed from exhaustion.

I ended the work day by running to Home Depot to get the tile saw for tomorrow.  I’ve rented these things before, but from a different location.  Each time, I wheel the awkwardly shaped and weighted tile saw out to the car and finagle it into the backseat.  All the weight is at one end, it’s got sharp corners, and it’s dirty as hell.  They always threaten me about the charge for bringing it back dirty, yet it’s filthy when I get it.  I think I was randomly selected as “the poor shit who has to clean the tile saw for everyone else”.  I’m sure they all get a big laugh over it.

But I digress.  The tool-rental-tool wheeled the saw out to the car and I open the back door.  He’s skeptical.  I promise him that I’ve done it before, and that it won’t hurt and I really do love him.  Woa, wait.  Wrong conversation.  We each pick up a side and I instantly realize the problem.  This saw is permanently mounted to the rolling cart underneath.  Way too big for the backseat or trunk.  I concede that it’s a lot easier to work with this bulky bitch when it’s always on wheels, but how was I going to get it home.

Tool rental tool suggests that I place it halfway in the trunk and secure the end jutting out (which happens to be where 90% of the weight resides) with some twine.  He even gave me the twine.  So that’s what I did.  I wrapped that thing up like the kid in Poltergeist when his braces grow wires which fill the whole bathroom. I’m not even sure that’s what happened but I saw the movie at a young age and it still scares me to think about.  Craig T Nelson…ughh….cold shiver.

I drove reeeeaaalllly slow with this giant saw hanging from my trunk, locked it up in my “shop” for the night and sat down to watch a movie.  Scoop.  It was okay.  Did I get it just to see Scarlett?  No, of course not (read: mostly).  I like a lot of Woody Allen films.  The movie was just okay.  Nothing amazing.  Definitely not as good as their Match Point collaboration, and I haven’t seen VCB yet, so I can’t draw a comparison.  Her character, in Scoop, wasn’t consistent.  She waffled between “Scarlett doing a Woody impression” and “confident, sexy Scarlett with the faintest hint of nebbish”.  It threw me off.

And now, to finish this random word vomit, I give you two pictures from my hard drive.  Both shot in October.




One response to “Exciting weekend adventures

  1. I have absolutely zero interest in commenting on your Tool Time adventures – not that I do not empathize with the weight of your plight…

    But I saw VCB and I cannot urge you enough to see the movie. It’s Woody Allen at his best and the acting is fantastic. Much better than Match Point! I hope you can still catch it on the big screen.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s