Danger (Illustrated)

To follow up on my SAPCC Rapture photo, here is the rest of the set.

If the cabin loses pressure, you have three seconds to find your mask, three more seconds to secure it, and then six full seconds to secure the mask for Baby George Bush.  No need to rush.

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If you’re a nervous traveler, getting halfway tanked at the Airport Bar is highly recommended.  Notice the wrinkled shirt and loose tie.

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If you have time during the evacuation, be sure to enjoy a quick game of Dance Dance Revolution.

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The emergency door can be removed in three easy steps:

  1. Grasp the door firmly and pull the lever.
  2. Smile to yourself because the door is probably pretty heavy, but you have no trouble lifting it after all those trips to the gym. You’re in the best shape of your life, and the women are lining up to talk to you (or escape the wreckage).
  3. Take the emergency door to your car – you can probably unload this on ebay for a couple hundred bucks.

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Finally, once you leap from the plane’s pooper, grab the nearest redhead dame and dance the Charleston at the bottom of the slide.

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Please enjoy your flight.

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4 responses to “Danger (Illustrated)

  1. Re: last picture.

    Apparently no Smurfs are allowed to leave the plane until every one else gets off safely

  2. I am laughing big laughs at the Smurf line :)

    In the Dance Dance Revolution pic, is the seat on fire? What are the red flashes that move from the seat in the first pic to the floor in the second?

  3. Ha, I didn’t notice the No Smurfs graphic. He looks kind of bummed.

    The DDR pic is showing that the lighting may be on the floor or on the seat itself. My plane must have had floor lighting because the seats were rickety metal frames with blue fabric stretched tightly over the sharp corners. It would be flimsy as a lawn chair – no room for electronics.

  4. Why is no one questioning the end of the plane being snapped off in that last picture? Is it like break-away pants? You can just snatch those puppies off.

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