To follow up on my SAPCC Rapture photo, here is the rest of the set.
If the cabin loses pressure, you have three seconds to find your mask, three more seconds to secure it, and then six full seconds to secure the mask for Baby George Bush. No need to rush.
If you’re a nervous traveler, getting halfway tanked at the Airport Bar is highly recommended. Notice the wrinkled shirt and loose tie.
If you have time during the evacuation, be sure to enjoy a quick game of Dance Dance Revolution.
The emergency door can be removed in three easy steps:
- Grasp the door firmly and pull the lever.
- Smile to yourself because the door is probably pretty heavy, but you have no trouble lifting it after all those trips to the gym. You’re in the best shape of your life, and the women are lining up to talk to you (or escape the wreckage).
- Take the emergency door to your car – you can probably unload this on ebay for a couple hundred bucks.
Finally, once you leap from the plane’s pooper, grab the nearest redhead dame and dance the Charleston at the bottom of the slide.
Please enjoy your flight.