Danger (Illustrated)

To follow up on my SAPCC Rapture photo, here is the rest of the set.

If the cabin loses pressure, you have three seconds to find your mask, three more seconds to secure it, and then six full seconds to secure the mask for Baby George Bush.  No need to rush.

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If you’re a nervous traveler, getting halfway tanked at the Airport Bar is highly recommended.  Notice the wrinkled shirt and loose tie.

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If you have time during the evacuation, be sure to enjoy a quick game of Dance Dance Revolution.

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The emergency door can be removed in three easy steps:

  1. Grasp the door firmly and pull the lever.
  2. Smile to yourself because the door is probably pretty heavy, but you have no trouble lifting it after all those trips to the gym. You’re in the best shape of your life, and the women are lining up to talk to you (or escape the wreckage).
  3. Take the emergency door to your car – you can probably unload this on ebay for a couple hundred bucks.

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Finally, once you leap from the plane’s pooper, grab the nearest redhead dame and dance the Charleston at the bottom of the slide.

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Please enjoy your flight.

Random Catch-Up

I’ve been gone for a while.  Let’s catch up.  This may seem unnecessarily random…and you’d be right.

The wife and I agreed to split the shopping trip – I went over to Home Depot for the new thermostat, she went next door to Bed Bath & Beyond (my least favorite store).  I got my one item and walked over to BBB to find her.  The store is the same everywhere – the same layout, the same crap.  And it was empty.  I saw the edge of civilization.

No, there was no Lord of the Flies shit going on.  It was simply the realization that the economy of the civilized world is based entirely on the consumption of crap we don’t need.  Snuggies.  Inflatable neck pillows.  Novelty doormats.  Nobody needs this stuff.  Yet there is a company making it, employing a bunch of people who go spend their paychecks on stuff they don’t need, and the cycle continues.  I don’t have a solid theory on this yet…but I’m working on it.

What I’ve been watching – in brief:

The Wrestler.  I like the director.  I like the actor.  I f’n loved the trailer.  But the movie…meh.  It didn’t win me over.  And I don’t really know why.  The visual style was completely documentary, with a lot of close following shots, as the film tries to keep us in the main character’s space and environment.  Great location choices, very violent wrestling scenes, and a brilliant trailer.  Mickey Rourke was outstanding.  I probably overhyped the movie to myself based on the trailer.  I do that sometimes.  I will definitely watch this movie again, and I suspect it will grow on me.

Slumdog Millionaire.  Very, very good.  Best picture?  Nah, not quite.  The lead actors were pretty good, especially the younger kids.  I liked the meandering story line and overall premise.  The problem?  There was a touch of something overly dramatic with the whole gangster character.  Highly enjoyed this film.

Revolution Road.  Nice and difficult.  Depressing.  Very well made, very well acted.  But, be warned – you won’t leave feeling great about things…especially for those who live in the suburbs.  Good, but not sure I need to see it again soon.

Be Here To Love Me.  Documentary about the great songwriter Townes Van Zandt.  Not the most traditional documentary I’ve seen, but Townes was one of the least conventional artsists in music.  Great to see footage of old performances.

10th & Wolf.  Crime/mob drama set in Philadelphia.  Tommy is kicked out of the marines during the first gulf war.  Rather than spend time in the brig, he takes the offer from the feds to go back to his old neighborhood as a rat.  Typical crime/mob drama ensues.  Enjoyable, not great.  Also saw a multitude of horrendous continuity errors, particularly in one scene.  I’d recommend watching if you come across it on HBO while you’re on vacation and it’s raining.  No need to go out of your way.

The Black Dahlia.  I turned it off after 20 minutes.  And I never do that.  Enough said.

Laurel Canyon.  I didn’t know what I was going to get.  Pleasant surprise.  Frances McDormand is so damn good at what she does…this is very much her movie.

Gonzo.  Documentary on Hunter S. Thompson.  He’s always been one of my favorite writers so it was easy for me to enjoy this great film.  I learned a few Highly recommend.

SAPCC 21 – Rapture

Thought I had some good ideas.  Didn’t pan out.  Scramble scramble scramble.  And I’m not making eggs.

For the idea of christian rapture, which wasn’t my primary idea at all, the jesus people will be literally lifted from the earth and taken to heaven before the final battle of good vs evil on earth.  This also includes the deceased christians.  If rapture is nigh, there will be some scary shit going down (or up) at your local graveyard.  Anyway, since I’m not part of that group, the only way I’ll be heading up to the pearly gates will involve a commercial flight.

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Also, I caught this illustration in my seatback pocket:

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She’s floating in a body of water after what we can only assume to be an air disaster.  And she looks great. Her hair billows dramatically, her cheeks are seductively flushed, and she still has the presence to know where the camera is.  What kind of nutjob hits you with a come-hither stare in this situation?  Someone who is in complete rapture.  That’s who.  Game, set, match.

Go see Russ, Conni, Chris, Smack, Renee, and Pat.

Snow Portraits, part three

Adam

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SAPCC #20 – stranger

Meet Bob.  Forty years ago Bob moved his dairy farm from Maine to North Carolina.  Do you know what it takes to move a dairy farm?  He enlisted the help of everyone he knew and they formed a giant caravan of cow carriers.  Bob’s fleet transported several hundred dairy cows across the George Washington Bridge.  Think about that.

Before meeting Bob on Sunday, he was a stranger.  After conversation and a few photos, he is an acquaintance.  Going forward, I hope to have him as a friend.

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Click to enlarge.  Also see Russ, Smack, Renee, Chris, Conni and Pat.

The next theme?  Prepare yourself for…RAPTURE.  (I’m already excited by the many possibilities….)

The anti-stranger

The photo challenge draws nigh.  Around Tuesday of each week I begin sifting through a pile of shots to determine if I have anything suitable for the weekly theme.  Often, I do not.  This leads to some Tuesday night shooting.  Possibly even Wednesday afternoon.  So today, as I consider “stranger”, I’m left thinking of the opposite.  The familiar.

This is my familiar.  My wife, Karen.  She knows me like no other.  And, to her credit, she still finds reason to smile at me every day.

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Snow Day part 2

Kayla.

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Click to enlarge. More tomorrow.